Notes: My Life Outside of Tech

A collection of essays I've written, illustrations I've made, and communities I've been apart of. There are also links to things written about me.

NAPALI
 

At the end of June I spent 10 days on O’ahu with NAPALI, a leadership program founded on Pacific Islander cultural values, and structured around Western professional skill development. The non-profit established in 1998, is a pioneer in its field graduating over 300 fellows since its conception. In the United States, there are far and few programs committed to establishing Pacific Islander leaders; and even fewer for folks post-college. It was an honor to be nominated and sponsored by WESTAF for the NAPALI class of 2023. This year’s cohort was represented by Hawaii, Tongan, Guam, and Samoa. Most of us were over the age of thirty, some were parents, and some grandparents. All of us were at an important inflection point as leaders. 

From left to right Lia Barcinas, Ka’imi, Dottie Mataele, Pou Dimitrijevich (me), Kim Caspillo, Lolofi Soakai, Keri Picolla, and Iwalani Raes.

The program was a blend of interactive learning activities, field trips, and lectures. One of our first trips was to Ka’ala Farms in Waianae; where we learned about Hawaiian land tenure systems, and helped pull weeds from the lo’i kalo. Another day, we hiked Diamond Head Rd, from Kapi’olani Community College to Kapi’olani Park, acknowledging sacred sites and collectively mourning their occupation. Throughout the week we talked story with Pacific Islander leaders; they shared their professional journey and the ways in which their communities influenced their trajectory. It was a rare opportunity to learn about Hawaiian history, from Native Hawaiians; and exchange language and cultural traditions across the Pacific diaspora. It was also a lot to absorb and process in a short amount of time. Back in San Francisco, I begin to draw lines between the 'ōlelo no’eau and my professional and personal communities. Here are two key lessons I took away.

 

We are related to the places we reside, as we are to the people we come from.

At the beginning of the conference, we were asked to introduce ourselves by first identifying the natural geographic features of where we live and/or where we were raised. Environments shape experience; experience shapes perspective. By acknowledging the land, we present folks with a frame of reference to better understand us. 

As the global co-chair for the Asian and Pacific Islander employee resource group at Box, one of the biggest challenges we face as an organization is the breadth of our cultural umbrella. How do you build programming that is both inclusive and authentic for 50 ethnic groups with connections to more than 40 countries? We have yet to answer this question, but I believe it begins with acknowledging the vastness of the places, cultural identities, and intersectionality we occupy. 

I am a first-generation immigrant, from the island of Samoa. I came to the United States as a toddler, and was raised all over Southern California, from the ports of San Pedro to the palms of the Coachella Valley. For the last decade I have lived in the Bay Area, currently residing in Bernal Heights, a small neighborhood in southeastern San Francisco. My cultural traditions and values are shaped by the village I am from and the places I have traveled. They are unique to me and may differ widely from someone who is third or fourth generation Samoan. No one person could represent the entirety of a culture or community.

Last year, Box API ERG revised its mission statement redirecting focus to community engagement and philanthropy. In the past, more attention was given to educating folks on API identities and cultural traditions. However, the reality is we do not have enough folks volunteering to maintain a regular cadence of programming necessary to support all API cultural events and holidays in a given year. Instead, we focus on celebrating our community, and creating safe environments for folks to show up authentically. Our events are often centered around cultural foods, social gathering, and storytelling. We also invest in and partner with other employee resource groups at Box; and support programs outside of Box that care for and empower our local API communities.

All that said, despite the success of our events and programming, I don’t think it’s enough. I recognize volunteering is a labor of love and not everyone has the time or emotional bandwidth to do it. But I promise the return is priceless. My call-to-action has always been: “If you have the emotional bandwidth and time, use it to invest in your communities.” We need folks to tell their stories, and show up to represent the places and cultural identities that have shaped their experience.

 

Leadership is as much about serving as it is about steering.

There is a Samoan phrase you say to your driver after arriving safely to your destination: malo le faauli, which means thank you for driving/steering us here. The driver then responds: malo le tapuai, which is a salutation you say to someone you’ve been waiting on. Loosely translated it means “...and good patience to you too.” Leadership in Samoan culture is a balance of service and navigation. In order to know where you’re going, you have to understand where you are. Investing in your community, listening to their concerns, and immersing yourself into the day-to-day will help you develop a better sense of direction. 

The NAPALI curriculum focused on servant leadership. We met Pacific Islander leaders in administrative roles advocating on behalf of Native Hawaiians and Pacific Islanders, to secure funding for education, housing, and healthcare. We also met folks working directly with un-housed communities to streamline access to substance abuse care and mental health resources. All of them spoke of the importance of leading from the back; serving first before steering.

O’ahu left me with a renewed sense of purpose to connect Pacific Islanders in Tech. I don’t have all the details outlined right now, but look forward to sharing more in the coming months. With that I’ll leave you with this CHamorro proverb, “I irensia na’lå’la’i espiritu-ta” / “Our heritage gives life to our spirit.”

 
 
Fall 2022 - End of Quarter Reflection
 
Women in burnt orange colored waffle robe, laughing and laying on a leather couch.

Enjoying winter break.

Final grades are in; I am officially done with my first quarter of business school–woohoo!

For those that don’t know, I am currently pursuing an MBA at UCLA Anderson through their fully employed hybrid program. Like any average 30 year old returning to school after a decade long hiatus, I had some reservations. 

  • How would I balance a full-time job, course work for two classes, and maintaining some semblance of a personal life? 

  • How would I do in a classroom setting? Would my career as a creative contribute or inhibit my performance?

For anyone interested in my journey, or in need of advice before they embark on their own, below are reflections and lessons I took from this first quarter.

 

Buoyancy, not balance

The last ten weeks were tough. Take everything you know about a healthy work life balance and toss it out the window. There are simply not enough hours in a day to do it all. The best thing you can do is try to remain buoyant. What I mean is learn to prioritize, and delegate the rest. Be flexible; take things as they come. And, most importantly, give yourself grace to make mistakes. 

After three months of juggling competing initiatives, I’d like to say that I have it all figured out. But the truth is, I am still adjusting. Although I hit a stride towards the end of the quarter, I have a long way to go. This was just the first quarter of nine! I’m holding space for myself, that I will probably have to revisit my approach [again] along the way. And that is completely okay. 

 

…to go far, go together

There were many stretches of time in which both school and work demanded an impossible amount of attention. My ability to push through, even when running on empty, was partly grit, but also in large part due to the support of my partner. From small things like making coffee in the morning to larger, less enjoyable, tasks such as taking me to the airport at 5am. Having someone to lean on, allowed me to repurpose that time and energy. 

 

The Protégé Effect

The biggest benefit of a part-time MBA program is the opportunity to apply what you learn in the classroom almost immediately. As a new manager working across two domains, three time-zones, and four teams there were many occasions for this. Case studies on decision making, interpersonal biases, and modes of motivation provided helpful guidance and insight when I was at an impasse. 

Of course, there were topics that didn’t have an immediate application. For those, I used the chance to share what I had learned with my peers. Blurring the line between work and study by teaching others, allowed me to absorb the content more intuitively. It also opened the door for collaborative dialog and made the whole experience of learning much more enjoyable.

 

Confidence and humility

Working in Tech, more often than not, I am the only Samoan woman in a room. Because of this, going to business school as a creative professional, I was less worried about being a minority, and more concerned with how my skills as a designer would translate to the classroom. Much to my surprise, the bulk of my contribution to my learning group came from my experience as a Product Designer: facilitating discussions, aligning stakeholders, and writing clear succinct copy. 

But I’d be lying if I said I could have made it through Statistics just on that. Having a dedicated learning group, made up of professionals with complimentary skills was absolutely priceless. Thank you Alex Mao, Rob Wrightson, Salonee Gupta, and Tom Wathey for a phenomenal first quarter. I couldn’t have done it without y’all. I would bet good money that if we took the subarctic survival simulation again, this time around we’d get rescued, or better yet make it to town on 3 pairs of snow-shoes, maple syrup and a tarp.

From left to right: Rob Wrightson, Alex Mao, Salonee Gupta, Tom Wathey, and me. August 2022.

 
Paying it Forward
 

Christmas Day 2009, Leonel and Tasi show off their matching lightsabers.

Growing up my family didn't have much. As a single mom of eight, after rent was paid, bills allocated for, and the weekly grocery shopping from Food-4-Less done, there wasn't much left for anything else. I remember it being especially hard during the holidays, when it seemed everyone else was enjoying winter activities or exchanging gifts. However, despite our unfortunate circumstance, Mom always found a way to turn things around.

When I was five, Mom took Stephanie, Nina, and I to a local community center during Christmas. There we received a hot meal, a meeting with Santa, and a gift of our choosing. I'll never forget the plush reindeer I choose–it smelled of vanilla!

In high school, Mom connected with a local non-profit that paired us with a family for the holidays. That Christmas all ten of us–mom, grandma, my siblings and I–received a gift. The non-profit also dropped off bags and bags of groceries. The act of generosity felt sincere. It wasn’t showy, or over the top, we never even met the family. But the care that went into select an items for each person, was felt. It was nice to know there were people who cared that we could celebrate too.

Now that I am an adult and in a place financially where I have more than enough, I seek out organizations that will help me pay it forward. The past few years I've donated to Compass Family Services. In November this year, through a series of slack and social media messaging, I helped them rally enough votes to receive a grant of $500,000 from Google.org Impact Challenge. Funding that will go to providing on-demand mental health services to homeless and at-risk families in San Francisco.

The last two Christmas, Justin and I have participated in the Adopt-a-Family program, which pairs individuals, families, and groups with Compass families who are homeless or at imminent risk. It is truly a rewarding experience to bring some holiday cheer to a family in need, much like my own growing up.

 
API Heritage Month 2021
 
 

Bringing our ‘authentic selves’ to work is not always easy, nor does it always feel safe. Which is why I am so grateful to the Box API ERG and my Product Design team who have been some of my biggest allies and avid supporters since I joined in July 2020.

 

Today, I led an educational and interactive workshop on the history and cultural significance of the Samoan ula, in honor of AAPIHM. Many of my teammates made it a point to attend; as well as leadership from across the org. If that's not community, I don't know what is!

Thank you to Amber Ahmed for encouraging me and giving me a platform. And a special shout out to Varun Parmar, Alan Chappell and Irina Issayeva for always making time.

Go here to view the presentation yourself!

 
The Value of Community for Black and Brown Designers
 
Inneract Project (IP) mentors and students during IP Studio(Summer 2019)

Inneract Project (IP) mentors and students during IP Studio(Summer 2019)

“During the course of your career, you will dedicate a lot of your time to your craft. This will include navigating in-office relationships, and building a professional network; trying to carve a space for yourself in an industry that doesn’t always recognize us, or our efforts. 

As a consequence of this reality, there will be days when you feel like an imposter, and yet still moments where you feel like you belong. It is for both of these moments — highs and lows — that you will need a community. Individuals who understand your struggles, and relish in your triumphs; both on a professional and a cultural level.”

 

I wrote a piece about the secret to longevity for Black and Brown designers in tech. Read the full article here.

 
Elevate Women's Voices Book Club Farewell
 

At the beginning of the new year, Laurel–one of my oldest and dearest friends, and the co-founder of our small but grand book club–will be moving to D.C.. Although my heart is heavy with her departure, I couldn't be more excited for this next chapter in her life. With Laurel leaving, and my own personal capacity changing in the new year, we've decided to bring our three year long book club to a close.

Laurel and I created Elevate Women's Voice in the Fall of 2017. We wanted a space were we could learn about, and read books by Black, Indigenous, Women of Color authors. By the end of 2020 we had over three dozen members–although only a handful dedicated lol–and read 19 books together.

‘Hunger’ by Roxane Gay; ‘Heart Berries’ by Terese Marie Mailhot; ‘There, There’ by Tommy Orange; and ‘On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous’ by Ocean Vuong were some of my favorites. Over the years we also collected lots of recommendations which I hope to work through in this new year.